Wednesday, April 30, 2008

how do i come up with these things?!

seriously, sometimes i am so funny... if only it could last all the time, i'd have ppl in stitches all over the place.

here are two amazing examples of my genius humor:

1) hubbs and i were walking in manhattan w/ our good friends t&d. somehow, hubbs brought up that jay-z's house was just blocks away. t&d were shocked -- "how in the heck do you know where jay-z lives?!" (that's where steffa's amazing humor came in.)

"don't you know?," i said, " he's a HUGE fan of jay-z! he's followed him for years." to which t&d responded, "no way. whatever." "no, really. on the biggest wedding day of the year (beyonce & jay-z), hubbs was outside their apartment building with a camera... of course, he didn't actually get a photo of them, but he was so excited to be there."

so this went on for a couple minutes, and they totally believed me. it was super funny... to think of my hubbs liking jay-z! oh, it's just too much.

2) last night, when i got out of the shower, i put my hair towel on my hair -- it's one of those towels specifically made for wrapping hair... don't buy it; it totally doesn't dry your hair. anyway, normally i have a white towel on my head, but last night, i had a purple one.

hubbs said, "when did your towel become purple?" i said, "don't laugh. i tried to dye it for fun." to which he said, "with what?!" "rit or rid or whatever that fabric dye is called... it didn't come out as cool as i had hoped though b/c i wanted it to be super deep purple, not pastel."

this went on for a couple of minutes, and i was cracking up inside b/c it was SO funny that he actually believed me. so i finally broke it to him, and he said, "oh, i figured you put it in the wash with the colors on accident instead of with the whites." to which i replied, "why, yes... that's a much more plausible lie." apparently, he was just trying to get me to out myself on my lie b/c he was sure i had made a laundry error.

so now you know... i am just too funny. it's painful how funny i am.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

how?!

seriously... how did this happen?!

summer hasn't even begun.
we just took our comforter in for cleaning.
our apartment finally turned off the heat.

and now, fall is here?! where did this come from? we are two days away from may. i am used to boiling hot swimming pools by may 1st... not winter coats and umbrellas.

oh, cruel fate... how i don't get you? i would say "how i hate you," but my mom taught me not to 'hate' anything. i can 'immensely dislike' things, but that doesn't quite describe my feelings towards fate... 

maybe i finally understand what boys mean when they say that girls are confusing... oh, weather gods, why torture me so?!

where for art thou summer? (or at least spring?)

Friday, April 25, 2008

did you know?!


i ALWAYS put on my left sock & shoe before i will put on my right one! always, always, always.

siempre. siempre. siempre.

if i'm trying two different shoes on, and i choose the one that is on my right foot, i take it off, put on the left matching shoe and then replace the right one.

weird.

are you weird?

Monday, April 21, 2008

so much... even a knife fight

so much has happened in the last week... but i've been super busy, so i haven't blogged about it. this is truly sad for you b/c all of my stories are so well-written and effortlessly-witty.

unfortunately, the time has passed, so i will now give you snippets of the last week or so.


  • i realized that my knee, which started hurting in d.c., still hurt.

  • hubbs and i each planned a meal for last week. his: roasted chicken - it was yum-o. mine: pot roast.

  • i traveled in the ny market -- queens, long island and newark. i decided that food at conferences always stinks. seriously, with as much money that is spent, shouldn't the food be yum-o?

  • i shopped and shopped and shopped looking for the perfect gift for my sista. she's a tough person to buy for. she wants clothing... she has too much clothing. she doesn't want "work clothing" or "cute tops." she just expects me to buy awesome stuff... oh, have i mentioned that we have completely different taste? everything i picked out (yes, everything) she said was 'frumpy' or 'old lady-y.'

  • i became far too busy to make my meal... as i was far too busy to buy my roast. what can i say?! i'm just important.

  • i stressed myself out. i vented. i got over it. friday was an awesome day.

  • i witnessed a subway car brawl. no, really. there were two men (one was for sure homeless b/c he was singing about giving him money. the other guy was 100% crazy but may have had a home.) the singing man was tall, while the crazy man was short. the crazy man started grunting at the singing man. then he started shouting, "get off!" then shorty grabbed singy... then i somehow missed the climax (even though i was watching intently) while others caught it and smartly jumped off the train -- shorty pulled a knife on singy. once the conductor got on the loud speaker and said, "i need a police officer. a passenger just pulled a knife on another passenger," i realized, 'oh, i should get off the train too.'

  • we made our own cotton candy dessert after dinner at a japanese food place that lacks an english name.

  • my knee still hurt, so i finally gave in and purchased a knee brace. it's tight and feels kinda nice.

  • we went to coney island. you've seen a few pictures. it was a fun day but super windy and a bit chillsters. we ate some yum-o nathan's hot dogs (mine: with chili, his: with sauteed onions).

  • hubbs and i cleaned our apt like never before. laundry - check. floors - check. dust.be.gone - check. hang artwork - check (mostly, anyway). we were into it... now, if only we could keep it that way.

  • hubbs finally helped me pick out a gift for my sista.

  • my roast is in the crocker... do you know how difficult it is to 'trim the fat' off of a 3lb pot roast? let me tell you: it's tough. granted, i was a dummy... i used the butcher knife instead of the boning knife (or whichever knife i should've used). needless to say, it was a disaster. oh, and did i mention that i think my crocker is a super crock pot? my roast may or may not already be done after only 3 hours (when it should've taken 4.5 - 5.5).

  • my knee is slowly coming back.

that's all for now.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

sunshine & nathan's on a saturday

a few clues:

where did we go today?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

i'm baaaAaaack!

i was in baltimore/philly all week, but fear not, i am back. mwah.

Monday, April 7, 2008

the cherry blossoms blossoming...

just b/c we're super spontaneous and enjoy adventure, we decided to head to our nation's capital this weekend for the national cherry blossom festival. the weather was supposed to stink -- rain all day saturday with a slight chance of sunshine on sunday.

we threw out the rulebook on vacation planning and decided to go anyway. shoot, the cherry blossoms only blossom once a year. plus, we found a great rate at a great hotel.

well, as luck should have it, our weekend was spectacular.

we brought our winter coats and umbrellas in hopes to trick the weather gods into giving us pleasant weather (you know, since we were prepared for rain, so the sun should shine)... and guess what?! it worked! saturday was BEAUTIFUL. the sun was shining; the temps were in the mid-sixties; i even rocked tank tops sans jacket for a short while!

buuuuuuuuut, since we brought our winter coats, we didn't bring intermediate coats for sixty degree weather... so we headed to urban outfitters and decided to buy one sweatshirt each even though the total cost would be just over $90 (boo to over-priced clothing!)... then we were rung up for $42!!! that's right -- my hoodie (which totally reminds me of my dad's hankies) came down from the sale price of $30 to $10, and hubby's flazer (fleece blazer) came down from the non-sale price of $60 to $30!

can i get a woot woot?!

as you can imagine, we were stoked. saturday was just amazing -- the cherry blossoms + the sunshine + the sights of d.c. + the company of hubbs = awesome-rific!

by 8pm, we crashed hard... so we went WAY out of our way to trader joe's to stock up on picnic materials. the picnic originally was meant for the waterfront to watch the fireworks, but we just couldn't make it, so it turned into a hotel room picnic and a law&order marathon. perfecto!
sunday's weather was more than dreary. grey skies and rain... ugh! i guess that we used up all the sunshine on saturday... thankfully, too, b/c we had all day on saturday and had next to no time on sunday.

yepyep. good times, as usual.

p.s. in the photo titled "fierce me," i am posing per hubby's request that i show him what i've learned from all the years of watching america's next top model religiously... clearly, i've learned nothing.

Friday, April 4, 2008

sensitive soul...

i am way too sensitive. hubbs showed me this yesterday, and i almost cried for the poor lil' cactus.


i'll hug you!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

GOOD NEWS!

the porkies were most delicious... and they made for a fantastic lunch today.
to be 100% honest with you, pulling the porky was a bit difficult. it was a bit dry, but the brilliance of the recipe is that you douse the porky with the cooking liquid.

and, man, was it dee-lish! yum-o. yum-tastic. how many annoying ways are there to say how delicious it was? scrum-diddly-umptious!

oh, oh, oh... plus, hubbs made his mmm-mmm-good cola bbq sauce. i don't know where he gets the recipe, but it really is good... and it topped the porkies nicely!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

i sliced porky...

vegetarians and vegans -- beware!
so i decided to make shredded pork sammies for dinner (the recipe comes from my prized better homes and gardens cookbook). hubbs and i picked up all the fixins this past weekend, and i was super excited (albeit super scared) to try something new.

so the recipe called for a 3lb piece of porky which would yield 12 sammies... 12 sammies! the only thing we could find was 4lb, but we only wanted to make 1/2 a recipe and only needed 1.5lb for the recipe.
do you see where i'm going?

i physically had to slice the hunk o' pig to get the size we wanted... then i had to weigh the hunk o' pig to make sure it fit a 1/2 recipe. be proud; i am she-ra, princess of power. i got the size right on the first try... thankfully so b/c i don't know that i could've attempted the slicing again. shivers.

so while slicing porky, i realized -- omg! porky's still wearing a slice o' skin! which is SO not cool b/c at the store, i said to hubby, "ewww! looks like those hunks have skin on 'em." to which he responded, "yeah, but the hunk we're getting doesn't have skin on it." lies. all lies. in his defense, the skin was hidden by the packaging.

moral of the paragraph: i had to slice the skin off of porky. SKIN! do i look like a farmer's daughter?! okay, so my dad totally could farm, but he's a rail roader... and being a farmer's great granddaughter or even a gardner's granddaughter isn't the same thing! well, needless to say, porky is now rockin' it in the crock pot nude.

so back to it. then i had to rub lil' porky w/ some herbs (pronounced "Her-bs" not "erbs") and spices. let me clarify: i had to RUB lil' porky. i'm not into touching raw meat excessively... sure, there are some people who think that's cool, but i'm not one of them.

all that was left to do was to shove porky in the crocker (my loving pet name for my crock pot) and add some beef broth... beef what?! we didn't buy beef broth! ugh!

guess what?! i totally saved my own day. i thought quickly and asked hubbsilicious if i could sub a beef bouillon / water mixture for beef broth... and BOO-YAH. i am a hero.

then i rocked it on high b/c i only had 5 hours until hubby would be home, and the recipe called for 8-10 hours on low or 4-5 hours on high...

about 1.5 hours in, i noticed that porky was smellin' good and lookin' cooked... so i panicked -- i only made 1/2 a recipe; surely that means that it only needs 1/2 the time. now, while this may not always be true, i checked the internal temp of porky, and he was well-over well-done.

oops.

fortunately, hubbs consoled me by sending me this funny photo to lighten the mood and then told me that he woulda' done the exact same thing thus making the exact same mistake. what a hubbs!

anyway, hubby won't be home for approximately 1 to 2 hours, so i can't yet tell you how the dry (non-slow cooked) pulled porky sammies turned out... but maybe tomorrow.
until then.
oh, and in case you're panicking, the crocker is now on "warm," not even "low."

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

my anti-drug

looking for an anti-drug? my hope is that the answer is no... well, not no as in "i love drugs, so i don't want an anti-drug." rather no as in, "oh, i already have a gajillion anti-drugs, so i don't need one but thanks anyway." this is a good story nonetheless. oh, and i'm not looking for an anti-drug or anything... don't start worrying.

this blog is kept up by an old high school friend. she is awesome. she posts a piece of her father's memoir weekly, and i am entranced. his story is incredible. he's clean these days, but his past is not.

if you have the time, i highly recommend checking out trampledunderfoot.